you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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