I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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