the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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