Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
