Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I CAN MOONWALK!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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