Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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