doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
