He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
