If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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