Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
