Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
