we're blogging at a bar
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
