what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
