How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
