you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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