Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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