I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
