is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
