Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
