I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
