Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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