these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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