Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
