I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
