piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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