walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
