Got a toothbrush?
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
