Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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