i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
