One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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