the new term for farting is butt boxing.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Drake has all the answers
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
