How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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