when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
