judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
