You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
