I just made out with a guy for $7.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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