I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hippo gnu deer
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
