Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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