there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
50% drunk capacity currently
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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