No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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