I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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