There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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