Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
