Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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