Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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