your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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