Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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