she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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