Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
