Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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